from my cocoon of grief to spreading my wings

By Nikita 

If you told me a few years ago that I’d be living in a three-bedroom apartment with my three kids, thriving in my preschool teaching career, and excitedly planning our first vacation with just the four of us, I never would’ve believed you. 

It all started with what was supposed to be a one week visit with family in Washington. I came down from Alaska with my kids and their dad, Thomas, thinking we’d be back home in a few days. But during that visit, Thomas was hit by a car. He was in the hospital here, and it just wasn’t possible—or affordable—to fly him back to Alaska. And honestly, Alaska didn’t even have the kind of care he needed. So, we stayed. 

At first, the kids and I were living with my mom. But about nine months later, Thomas passed away from his injuries. The grief hit me hard. And as much as I wanted to lean on my mom, she was struggling with her own mental health and just couldn’t give me the kind of support I needed. One day, she just told me we had to go—right then and there. Within the hour I was homeless with three kids, grieving, and completely overwhelmed.  

We slept in our car for a few days—until it broke down from running the heater constantly. I used what little money I had to get a hotel for about a week, and a few friends helped me stretch it out to ten days. After that, I didn’t know what else to do. We ended up staying at an acquaintance's place—he had a couch and offered us a place to sleep. It wasn’t long before that situation became uncomfortable, and I knew we had to leave.  

That’s when I started calling 2-1-1, and someone told me about Mary’s Place. I called every single day for six days straight, and finally, they had a spot for us. They even called me an Uber to get there that night. I had no idea what to expect, but what I found at Mary’s Place was something I’ll never forget. 

Being at Mary’s Place was such a blessing. I had my kids with me, including a baby who was still breastfeeding, and I didn’t have to worry about our family being split up. Usually, you think of a shelter as just a place to sleep, bunk beds in one big room or sleeping bags in a church, and maybe you’ll get a meal or two. But at Mary’s Place my kids and I had our own room, three meals a day, and the privacy and support to heal and start figuring out what came next. 

At first, it was a lot. You’re getting handed so many resources, and everyone’s trying to help. When you’re still grieving and trying to hold it together for your kids, it can feel overwhelming. But then I just sat down and started taking it step by step. I had my notepad, I’d take photos of flyers in lobby, write down apartment info, talk to my Mary’s Place housing specialist. We worked as a team. They’d help me find lists of places to call, and I did research on my own too. They’d help me apply, and they even helped with the deposit and first month’s rent when I finally found a place. 

When I first got to Mary’s Place, I hardly had anything. Most of our clothes were either in storage or lost when the car got towed. But the Marketplace at Mary’s Place—wow! It sounds silly, but it really felt like retail therapy and a sense of normalcy. I was able to pick out clothes for interviews, for my kids, for everyday life—and when you look better, you feel better and more motivated. 

I applied for a job at a daycare near the shelter, just aiming for an associate role—but they offered me the manager position! I was shocked. The Mary’s Place staff even watched my kids during the interview and were all cheering for me when I came back with the news. I’ll never forget that moment, I want to cry just thinking about it. I felt so seen. It was the first time in a long time that I didn’t feel alone. 

Over time, I got close with some of the other moms at the shelter. We’d get together in the mornings, swap resources, and just help each other out. Eventually, the group grew, and the Site Director started calling our meetings the “Butterfly Home” group, because we were all in our cocoons, but the sense of community helped us start to emerge, and together we were getting ready to fly into our own places. I still love that. 

After about eight months, I got approved for a three-bedroom apartment. It felt huge after sharing one room with all my kids. It’s affordable, spacious, and best of all, it’s ours. 

The building is close to the Allen Family Center, where Mary’s Place and other groups offer all kinds of classes and support. I recently finished a 10-week class on emotional connection with your kids and healing from trauma. It helped me so much as a mom. One day, I overheard the staff talking about wanting a logo for the building. I told them, “Hey, I love design—I’d be happy to help.” That’s always been a dream of mine: becoming a graphic designer or even a private chef someday. With where I’m at now in my life, seeing my work on the side of a building like the Allen Family Center feels like a tangible goal instead of a faraway daydream. 

some of Nikita’s graphic designs!

Right now, I’m a preschool teacher at a Montessori school—something I never thought I’d be doing until a Mary’s Place volunteer at a résumé workshop pointed out how my strengths lined up perfectly for it. The daycare lets my kids attend, which means I have childcare and a stable income. 

After everything we’ve been through, I’m so proud of how far we’ve come, and it all started with a place that gave me more than just a place to sleep. When I got to Mary’s Place things were so dark, but they gave me space to grieve, heal, and grow. They gave me a community, a team, and helped me see a bright future again. My kids and I are currently planning our first vacation, just the three of us - we’re truly feeling excited about life again!